A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
