if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
the raccoons are back...
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