People with herpes should wear stickers.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
