Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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