Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize
