i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
