I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
