If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
