she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
