i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
