I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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