i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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