we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Tornado booty call.. dedication
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
