we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
