The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I want to stick my p in your. b.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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