thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
either way he was missing a nipple.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
