where am i from again
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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