To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
