Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
