He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
