Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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