how can u be prego again
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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