You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
A+ Viking dick
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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