Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
