My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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