i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
