I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
