you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
