And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
