thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
