nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
you traded sex for a burrito?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
