i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
