We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
