Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
