I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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