I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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