Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
