ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
