his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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