possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
