If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
i now understand why vodka
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
