So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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