I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
