im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
me + whiskey = a bad person
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
