Just cropdusted the office
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
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