I skipped work to stalk him.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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