wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
