i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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