he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
