I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
