the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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