how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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